Collateral Damaged Publishes “Top Ten Marketing Blunders of the Year”

‘Tis the season for eggnog, sales, and yes – endless year-end “Top 10″ lists.

This one, however, was produced by none other than funnyman Constantine Von Hoffman, so I’m giving his “Top Ten Marketing Blunders of the Year” post a little well-deserved juice.

Collateral Damage's Top Ten Marketing Blunders of the Year

My favorite? His skewering of General Motors’ weaselly “Apology” ad where the company pretends at a mea culpa while actually accepting zero responsibility.

Weekly Tweetfest

  • Prospective Client Quote of the Day (after balking at paying me to setup blog/email system) "Just tell us what to do in an email." #
  • Solved Web site problem for client with help of VivaThemes.com (WordPress themes for Web site, not just blog themes). Great support! #
  • Rural Internet connection been a little poky, and the downside of "the cloud" is fast becoming apparent. Let's hear it for client apps… #
  • The cloud is exciting and new and hot and sexy, but it's also damn slow. Is it sucking our lives out in 1.28 second increments? #
  • RT @amyderby: PRESS RELEASE: Amy Derby, Non-Author of Chronic Bullshit Syndrome, Begins Bogus Book Tour http://is.gd/5fhnK #
  • Advice from a Pro: Make Sure Your Offer is Crystal Clear http://bit.ly/77wYlv #

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Blogging For Money? The Feed Pauser Plugin Offers You (and Your RSS Feed) a Second Chance

With more copywriters business blogging for bucks (say that three times fast), and people now accessing streams of information more or less instantaneously, the dangers of the WordPress “Publish” button loom large.

The WordPress "Publish" button may not be your friend

Mis-type a word in a headline – or entirely blow your first paragraph out of the water with a half-assed edit – clicking Publish immediately places that post in your RSS feed , saving it for all to see and marvel at (for eternity).

It’s embarrassing when you do it on your own blog. But potentially expensive when you do it for a client.

The Feed Pauser plugin (WordPress only) helps solve this problem by delaying the Publish –> RSS cycle a user-specified amount of time.

In other words, set it for ten minutes, and you’ve got a whole ten minutes after publishing the post to correct any mistakes.

The post shows on the site, but isn’t placed into the RSS feed until your grace period is up.

Those headless posts you mistakenly send? Those half-finished drafts the world is never meant to see? Those headline typos?

Feed Pauser offers you a second chance to fix them, and like all great solutions, it does so simply and elegantly (no affiliation or financial interest on my end).

Regret is a powerful thing, especially when your own work is the source of it…

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Weekly Tweetfest

  • From The Early Morning Surprises Department: "Hoosegow" was in my spell checker. #
  • Cutthroat Stalker's Year in Pictures (in slide show format) http://bit.ly/4Xe0ZJ #
  • A talented writer joins the ranks of the chronically underemployed, errr, freelance world (Tapdancing in the Dark) http://bit.ly/4ueLrl #

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The New Daughter vs. Writing Routine Death Match (or, Sleepless in Shasta)

It turns out that pitting our tiny new daughter against my previously comfortable writing routine results in the following: the wholesale slaughter of the routine.

Embarrassingly, I had to read my own blog to discover where my last post left off (hint: Zombie Copywriter attacks Slacker Building Contractor).

The Good News?

  • The new kid is doing great (she is a sweetheart and my cynical marketer’s heart soars every time I see her – unbearably adorable photograph added below)
  • Despite the madness, I launched a tourism Web site project (with all the trimmings), and the client is happy (they should be)

The Bad News?

I remain barely a half-step ahead of my client commitments.

Which leaves little time for a blog. Or personal writing. Or sleep. Or even a shared (fun) Web site project (aided and abetted by another copywriter).

Naturally – now that the Thanksgiving Madness is over (as is the last-minute Black Friday client rush) – I’m teaching four nights a week for the next three weeks.

Like raising a kid, teaching is hugely exhausting and wildly gratifying at the same time (more on that in an upcoming post).

I expect to have a lot of fun.

What Else is Coming on the Underground?

I’ve got some great stuff ahead.

I’m putting the finishing touches on an update to the profile I wrote of Airgun niche writer Tom Gaylord, who now hosts a TV show and is even signing lucrative product development contracts.

In his typically direct, impassioned style, Tom offers ample food for thought for anyone dominating their niche – but wonders what comes after you own the space.

Then there’s my call for a Modern Word Processor for the Contemporary Online Writer. Today’s writers are using yesterday’s writing tools, and it’s time that changed.

In other words, the Copywriter Underground’s not dead, just moving at whatever pace the world’s best one year-old daughter allows.

Keep writing, Tom Chandler.

Adorable Photograph of Reason You’re Not Reading This Blog Very Often:

Weekly Tweetfest

  • Great client, brilliant product… biggest chunk of the phone call was trying to find a revenue stream in all the genius. #
  • Stunning images from National Geographic's 2009 Photo Contest: http://bit.ly/8s65a7 #
  • Finished first draft of a squeeze page, which is a truly awful name for the thing. Evokes some unhappy images… #
  • RT: @Bauart: Without her TV Show, saying you've "been on Ophra", will suddenly have a whole new meaning. #
  • Clients, copywriters & contracts – projects from hell, and how to avoid them http://bit.ly/4ZGCwe #
  • Power went out for a couple hours; got more written on my laptop than the rest of the day put together. Is there a lesson there somewhere? #

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Weekly Tweetfest

  • Got sucked into playing with new Linux editor (UltraEdit) and old one (Bluefish). Will I ever be happy with my word processor (no!) #
  • Stalking as social media marketing technique? (Not if you're smart. Not if you're Toyota) http://bit.ly/1z6QpO #
  • Finally got client's email account built out. Always forget how time that eats through. Looks nice tho… #
  • Twitter Tools no longer working on my WordPress installations – anyone know of a similar WordPress plug-in? #

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Weekly Tweetfest

  • The copywriter as a criminal (site dedicated to bank robbery notes) http://bit.ly/YHzpj #
  • MailChimp solves client headache (mine anyway) – automatically embeds video screen shot in email, creates links: http://bit.ly/DifND #
  • OpenOffice (free, open source office suite) downloaded on hundred million times: http://tinyurl.com/yfjfdar #
  • Unfortunate Big Web project Factoid: The sites always go live about the same time the copywriter and developer drop dead… #

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Weekly Tweetfest

  • Contributing to Twitter accounts for two clients and finding Echofon and HootSuite indispensable: hootsuite.com & echofon.com #
  • Good news for those losing everything in the recession – all that money was just killing you anyway… http://bit.ly/XT98w #
  • "Home Stretch" meeting on Great Big Web Site project. Lots of writing left – and client tutorials on Twitter. Gosh, I"m a Social Media Guru. #

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