It’s hardly an advanced copywriting secret. Good news sells. For most copywriters, leading with the good news is second nature — a reflex. You’ll be thinner. Richer. Happier.
You get the drift.
In my writing, it’s second nature. In my speaking life, it apparently isn’t. Last weekend I served as Ride Director for the Shasta Summit Century — an organized, fund-raising bike ride whose crown jewel is the 135 mile Mount Shasta Super Century.
The course is extremely hilly. This year, a rider crashed on a downhill, and needed an ambulance. Back at ride headquarters, we heard the news over the ham radio. We all held our breath.
The news was largely good. He’s still in the hospital, but doing OK, and they’ll release him soon. An hour after the crash, we managed to locate his wife (she was several hours away), and called her.
I took a deep breath. I started speaking. Good news first, right? (Wrong. Scheez.)
Me: “Your husband crashed on a downhill. An ambulance is on the way.”
Her: Drops phone
Me: “No wait — he’s talking, he’s conscious, and everything’s moving. There’s even a doctor right there with him. The ambulance is a precaution.”
Her: More dead air…
Brilliant, eh? Note to self: next time, lead with the “Your husband is doing well, but he had a crash…”
Today’s moral: “Applying general copywriting principles can make your everyday life easier.”
[tags]writing, copywriting, shasta summit century[/tags]
Comments 5
Great advice and great example. I’m very guilty of leading with the negative, especially in my writing. I’ll have to start being more mindful about it.
Thanks!
Posted 08 Aug 2007 at 4:19 am ¶I’ll suggest that it’s a matter of perspective - at the time you made the call, “An ambulance is on the way.” _was_ the good news;-) And putting it second allowed you to eliminate that pesky word “but”.
Of course, when I made the call home after my accident earlier in the year I started with “Hi hon, you need to grab Kevin [our driving age son] and come pick me up.” [assuming the answer that I'm alive and didn't need to go straight to the hospital...-] Which of course prompted her to ask “What happened?”, but by then she was warned.
Posted 10 Aug 2007 at 6:13 am ¶Words to live by…
Posted 27 Aug 2007 at 3:08 am ¶Start with the positive first…
How you say things can change the outcome…
The power of copy, speaking skills, selling skills…
All wrapped up in this post.
Nicely done Tom. Get well soon.
Joseph Ratliff
Posted 24 Sep 2007 at 9:14 am ¶This is a fantastic example of how the way we structure our copy really can have diffrent effects on the recipient. I’ll pass this onto a few of my clients because it illustrates a really important point.
Posted 03 Dec 2007 at 4:30 am ¶Post a Comment