Today’s Exercise in Copy-Based Mind Control (or, A Dollar to the First Person Who Figures Out What This Means)
By Tom Chandler on Mar 13, 2008 in Copywriting, Underground Entertainment
There’s a lot of really, really bad copy floating around out there. More than ever before. And yet — every once in a while — you stumble across a piece that… well… transcends the genre.
It defies description. I found this on a company Web site — one with an impressive client list. It’s just that I can’t figure out what they do, or how they do it. It’s simultaneously hilarious and horrifying:
Dynamic, adaptive strategy that guides creative, thoughtful decision making in the changing world of the 21st Century is achievable. But it requires a new, non-traditional and creative planning process.
- Providing creative experiences that bring in new insights, move strategic thinking into areas of Deep Innovation and shape industry/field-changing new models.
- Utilizing “abductive”, design/envisioning approaches that evolve, enrich and transcend the inductive and deductive approaches to scenario development.
- Strategically applying high-opportunity “Emergent” strategy development to accelerate and magnify the value of “Deliberate” long range strategic planning.
- Applying the ***** proprietary Visual Strategic Thinking and Mapping System that enables planning teams to extend their repertoire of strategic thinking options, open up breakthrough ideas, and then channel their ideas into a coherent and effective communication of the strategic story.
- Nurturing broad based support for the strategy through a co-creative process that gains understanding and commitment throughout the organization.
I’m dubbing it “stream of consciousness meets passive voice.” And yes, you (and your brand new headache) may now return to your everyday life.
Technorati Tags: copywriting,writing,what the?
I woke up briefly at the new post… and then started snoozing again. Bad content is bad content, and these people have it down pat.
I mean, it’s good but… snoooore…
James Chartrand - Men with Pens | Mar 13, 2008 | Reply
Deep Innovation? Sounds like a disaster movie…
John McGarvey | Mar 13, 2008 | Reply
Wow. That was, um, special…
Talk about a great example of how *not* to write!
Just how do you get to Deep Innovation? Plane or boat?
Julie Anne | Mar 13, 2008 | Reply
I only understand it because I have a Master’s degree in organizational change. This is the sort of theoretical nonsense the field is buried in. It’s also why I chose to avoid the management consulting field and become a writer. Writing is much more fun and much less headache-inducing!
Brandon W | Mar 13, 2008 | Reply
This is the kind of barfola I edit every day. I have to try to make sense of it and then translate it into the real world. Love your site. I’ve subscribed to it.
Claire | Mar 13, 2008 | Reply
I knew my readers would love it. Sadly, it’s the genetic twin of a piece I wrote more than ten years ago for a client. It’s not where we started, but with the help of constant “input” from the client, it’s where we ended up.
Strangely, it didn’t make my samples book.
Tom Chandler | Mar 13, 2008 | Reply
Perhaps it’s klingon for “make big bucks fast!”
Beam me up, scotty - if you know what I mean.
Rolf | Mar 13, 2008 | Reply
Yes, but what do they actually do? Beats me.
A website is like a wedding reception. It’s about you, celebrates you but it’s designed (or should be) for the comfort and enjoyment of your guests!
Didn’t make your portfolio, Tom? I can’t imagine why. So many corporate clients love this kinda mish-mash, self-congratulatory love.
Roberta Rosenberg | Mar 14, 2008 | Reply
Roberta: Yeah, it beats me too, and I know what they do.
The client list is impressive, so perhaps they’re better in person.
Tom Chandler | Mar 14, 2008 | Reply
Whoever wrote it has skimmed the book Consilience by E.O. Wilson, and various evolution blogs. Hence, abductive reasoning, and emergent strategies. But…you can’t plan for “emergence,” since it’s unforseen by definition.
Overall, it’s a well-tossed word salad that relies more on rhythm than sense.
Situation Normal
Howard | Mar 14, 2008 | Reply
Truly amazing in a head-scratching sort of way.
Reminds me of this gem of a show review recently shared from within the music industry, which is more my writing stomping ground. Ironically, I was at this show, and still can’t grasp what’s being said.
http://www.times-standard.com/entertainment/ci_8389566?source=email
This ain’t your grand-daddy’s hippie jam band
In the ensuing discussion about this review, someone summed it up as this:
West coast speak.
Translation -> “I liked the show; it was fun and a good time was had by all.”
I do like the review’s title…
Lisa Shara | Mar 14, 2008 | Reply
Firm but neutral business dialogue makes me all warm and fuzzy.
Chris | Mar 16, 2008 | Reply
Tom,
That was what I call “thick” copy.
It was too thick to wade through.
I am almost sweating after reading that :).
Joseph Ratliff
Joseph Ratliff | Mar 16, 2008 | Reply
Ugh. I just had a flashback to some editing work I once did in the softare industry. This is deadly.
Janet | Apr 2, 2008 | Reply
Of course, the irony that just made a typo in the word “software” is not lost on me. :)
Janet | Apr 2, 2008 | Reply