Now, College Humor has produced Font Fight – the hilarious, perfect-for Friday video that every font geek (and yes, I mean you ) will want to play over and over.

Click the image, watch the video, shoot Comic Sans out your nose...

After all, what fontophile would willingly miss the long-awaited meeting of Helvetica and Arial – the latter of which stole the former’s identity so many years ago? (The hairs on my neck are standing up.)

I can’t embed it, but it’s worth the short trip to the College Humor site, where you can embrace your inner font geek.

Keep writing, Tom Chandler.

Scanned from Newsweek, but aimed at GenX (and younger)?

And we’ve gotta ask: Will Oscar Mayer’s target market truly understand Blogworthy?

Me? I vote thumbs up. The concept mixes a little edge and some fun with an ever-so-slight amount of self-deprecating humor. And yes, Oscar Mayer is clearly more interested in the “connected” generation than they are the old geezers (like the one writing this blog post).

Critique?

• I might have shoehorned another benefit into the copy (we get “under 350 calories” and “microwave minute” which isn’t bad)
• Oscar Mayer supports a blog of their own and some fun online goodies on their site (Oscar Mayer Pong) – why not reference it in this ad?

The Hotdogger.com blog follows the Weinermobile’s location on Google.

In an era when new media channels are coming online almost hourly, large organizations often struggle to achieve true integration across all marketing channels. Sometimes that’s due to departmental turf wars, but often it’s simply the result of tunnel vision.

And yes, the smart freelance writer will spot integration issues for a client, and offer to fix them (after all, nothing’s more endearing than being useful).

What’s your hit – fun ad, or total marketing baloney?

Keep writing, Tom Chandler

After all, my contribution to the freelance survival conversation (and I think freelancesurvivalist.com would be a stunning blog name) amounted to “get as close to the revenue stream as you can.”

Good idea, but vague. Better might be this: In a down economy, the freelancer’s worst enemy is a shrinking budget (his best friend is marketing staff layoffs, but we’re ignoring that grim reality for now).

So where are marketing budgets growing?

That depends on who’s doing the counting.

DMNews published data from an email software provider’s poll; it identified the top three areas marketers expect to raise spending in 2009:

• 72% E-mail marketing
• 44% Search marketing
• 35% Advertising

Content marketing site Junta42 says content marketing spending is accelerating as the economy worsens, while B2B Magazine says only 25% of B2B marketers plan to cut budgets.

That’s hard to reconcile with the Canadian Marketing Association’s contention that 44% of marketers will reduce their marketing spending, but then, most of these surveys aren’t exactly scientifically valid, it’s an apples & oranges comparison, and those Canadians are a pretty shifty lot to begin with.

Back to Basics

My experience during past downturns suggested marketing departments participate in “back to basics” movements, and our current mess is probably not an exception.

In a recession, Return on Investment (ROI) is king, and not surprisingly, accountable media are seeing gains (or at least not reductions). And who is the marketing ROI King? E-mail marketing, a fact which squares nicely with the bullet points above.

You might also expect to see lots of activity in high-ROI direct response media (the really glitzy lumpy mailers to 100,000-name lists are probably out), and as I pointed out above, “content marketing” also looks good, though I wonder if that isn’t mostly an extension of search marketing. (I divide the world into SEO content and engagement content, and where do the two meet?)

One bright spot is the emerging social media marketing, which despite its “experimental” status, is seeing lots of growth (and yes, I lost the link to the stats).

While social media remains a mystery to many organizations – and its effectiveness is often hard to quantify – spending in that area is still growing based simply on the potential for massive ROI, though again, it’s a spotty thing.

Marketers are often seduced by the low initial cost of social media, but when headcount is tight and people already overloaded, the ongoing care and feeding of social media projects becomes a problem (or perhaps an opportunity for the ambitious freelancer).

Where It’s Not Great

It’s probably not a great time to specialize in non-response oriented brand advertising, especially in high-priced media (like broadcast).

In addition, ad pages in consumer magazines are down a whopping 11%, and those numbers will only get worse as they’re updated, which means less print ad work for writers and art directors.

And it’s not surprising to hear that “luxury” projects (like Web site makeovers, corporate print brochures, etc) are toppling under the swinging budget scythe.

Of course, these are gross generalizations (every situation is unique), but then, why write a blog if you can’t make sweeping generalizations?

What To Do

I’m a big proponent of pitching work to the clients you want to work for, and in a recession this strong, that hasn’t really changed, though you better keep a couple points in mind:

• A strong value proposition is essential – people aren’t buying into experimental programs or those lacking the promise of real ROI
• A package deal often helps – cutbacks usually mean remaining staff are severely overworked, so projects have to be turnkey
• Be prepared for disappointment – people are hunkered down, and don’t take it personally

The psychology of what I’ll call “non-abundance” is an endlessly fascinating thing. Some remain optimistic and see opportunity everywhere while most hunker down, happy if they can protect what they’ve got.

A strong value proposition is no guarantee of anything in times like these, but it’s an excellent starting point for a freelancer.

Keep writing, Tom Chandler.

Keep writing, Tom Chandler.

No, the timing wasn’t great, but I wasn’t surprised. This was a speculative project – one living far from the organization’s revenue stream. And in tough economic times, being “far from the revenue stream” is more an epitaph than a harbinger of survival.

The point isn’t whether this will happen to you (it will). The real point is this: How will you react?

Walk Away? Or Try Again?

I’m satisfied I did a good job, and the good results reflect that. Still, it was a luxury project, and while I can walk away with my head held high, why would I walk away at all?

The client was happy with my non-revenue producing work – so why not pitch them a revenue-positive project?

I’m working on the pitch now, and approaching the client this week. The concept? They have a gaping hole in their marketing process where they should have a revenue stream.

I’m offering to create that revenue stream, and do so quickly.

To do it, I’m putting together a pitch that’s both persuasive (hopefully) and topical (it draws on recent, well-known fundraising successes to prove my point).

And to help it fly with the spreadsheet zombies, I’m willing to back-load my fees (accept the bulk of payment toward the end of the project so expenses show up after revenues are flowing).

Will it work?

Hard to say. Tough times make for bunker mentalities at a lot of organizations, and new projects – even those with revenue-positive projections – are often relegated without a thought.

Still, why walk away?

The freelance copywriting life includes plenty of rejection and down economies; both can be painful, but both also represent opportunities, especially if you’re looking for them – instead of seeing only  doom and gloom.

Keep writing, Tom Chandler.

That’s what writers do; we finish the book/Web site/project, then go somewhere warm to shake off the Post-Project Traumatic Stress Syndrome – preferably with an appropriately literary alcohol (the Copywriting Maven says “mojitos” are the cure, and this time, I may test her theory).

Still, I’m going to leave my readers with some legal fun (really). Read on: you’ll find this interesting.

Who Owns Your Work Now?

You can run from big projects, but you can’t run from the law, which is why I sat up a little when Valleywag listed the five most laughable Terms of Service Agreements in high tech.

For example, download Google’s new Chrome browswer, and you agree that:

…any “content” you “submit, post or display” using the service — whether you own its copyright or not — gives Google a “perpetual, irrevocable, worldwide, royalty-free, and non-exclusive license to reproduce, adapt, modify, translate, publish, publicly perform, publicly display and distribute” it? Google’s ambitions for Chrome are even larger than we thought; by the letter of this license, Google will own all information that flows through its browser. But Chrome’s terms of service are just the latest in a long line of ludicrous legalese.

Facebook’s says it owns the rights to the photographs you upload to the service.

Sure, it’s ludicrous, but then, it’s also in keeping with the anti-intellectual property ethos of Web 2.0, where content creators give up their right to content as fast as they create it, and only those providing technology are allowed to cash in.

In this case, Google’s obviously trying head off the legal challenges that suggest their ad netowrk illegally profits from the work of others.

As a copywriter, it’s easy to think none of this will affect you, but in some not-so-distant future, some of these agreements could come back to bite writers and other creatives on our flat butts.

Imagine a professional photographer who innocently uploads a couple images to his Facebook page, then finds them starting back at him in a Facebook ad.

Legal? Maybe.

UPDATE: Now Google says they don’t want the rights to your work, and are removing that passage from the Chrome license.

Non-Disclosure Agreements

Web Worker Daily also posted a short interview with a legal expert about Non-Disclosure Agreements (NDAs) – a legal form copywriters are often asked to sign.

I’ve signed quite a few over the years (mostly high-tech clients), and most protected my rights as much as the client’s.

Still, I was once handed a “standard” NDA across a desk, and though I came within a whisker of not reading it, I’m glad I did.

On page six, I discovered a non-compete clause.

I muttered a “Huh?” (Not my best moment, verbally speaking.)

A little reading, and I realized this little gem would have prevented my working for anyone else in the client’s markets (all of them) for several years.

“Houston,” I said, “we have a problem.” (This was much better than “Huh.”)

While I avoid direct conflicts of interest, I’m also clear that I’m being paid for my copy and expertise – not the exclusive rights to “own” me in a particular field.

It became a sticking point – until I explained to my contact exactly what I was signing away.

We excised the offending passage from the NDA (both initialed the change), and went on with the project.

The moral? Don’t sign an NDA without reading it – even a “standard” form.

Keep drinking mojitos writing, Tom Chandler.

valleywag, terms of service, google chrome, nda, non-disclosure agreement, facebook

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In the past, that meant a lot of my ad budgets were switched to less-glamorous media like inserts, card decks, etc.

Today, the rush is on to find the most effective, affordable online media (hint: online ad buys seem stagnant). And while coupons are regarded by many as a relic of the pre-Internet era, a New York Times Magazine story says coupons are back – especially online coupons:

Its figures show that in 1998 consumers redeemed about 4.7 billion coupons. The number of coupons that manufacturers issued has gone up and down since then, but the redemption number fell steadily every year until last year, when it leveled off at about 2.6 billion. According to the Promotion Marketing Association Coupon Council, less than 1 percent of coupons are distributed digitally — which seems a little surprising given that coupons-on-the-Web companies have been around for years.

Perhaps it was the positive economic mood that held them back, but that’s changing: the online data tracker Hitwise says visits to a variety of thrift-focused sites are up by about a third over the past year, and the likes of Coupons.com and more recent entries like CouponWinner.com are lately reporting big spikes.

Good news? Bad news? Does it matter to you?

A little fiscal reality check is always a good idea (if the supposedly targeted ads on social network sites aren’t working, it’s time we moved them elsewhere). But the take-away here is simple: in the face of a shrinking budget, the smart copywriter offers their client a cost-effective alternative.

And while “everybody else is doing it” is hardly a killer business case for a promotion, it’s the kind of statement that opens a client’s mind (if not their checkbook).

Remember, in a recession, clients are often scared. That means they’re seeking value from their marketing efforts, and while coupons and promos aren’t glamorous, they’re cost-effective – and they work.

And in the case of online coupons – a largely untapped medium – it’s likely your competitors simply aren’t competing.

Keep writing, Tom Chandler.

Dave Hermansen did not own a bird or a cage when he bought bird-cage.com, an online store, for $1,800 three years ago. He simply saw a Web site that was “very, very poorly done,” and begged the owners to sell it to him. He then redesigned the site, added advertising and drove up traffic. Last December, he sold it for $173,000.

Color me impressed. I simply hadn’t considered flipping in the online arena. And yes, I’ve got enough projects going that I don’t need another, but it could be a solid idea for copywriters with a little time on their hands – and something to prove.

Take over an underperforming site, increase traffic by an order of magnitude, sell it for a profit, and you just built a powerful, self-generated case study (assuming you don’t start flipping sites fulltime).

In many ways, a fixer-upper Web site could be the ideal project for the modern, “value-added” copywriter – who’d better know more about their job than simply where to put the little period thingees.

As always, Undergrounders, the floor is yours. Is online flipping a great idea, or speculative (and time-wasting) nightmare?

Keep writing, Tom Chandler.

Business blogs aren’t exactly booming — at least according to Ken Magill in a Direct Magazine post, where he cites a Forrester report documenting rapid decline in business blog growth:

Business-to-business blogging took a nosedive this year, mainly because returns on corporate blogs haven’t matched investment, according to a recent report by Forrester Research.

…the number of new corporate blogs has dropped sharply in the last year and a half, according to the report, with 36 companies launching them in 2006, 19 in 2007, and just three in the first quarter of 2008, according to Forrester.

The problem? Corporations repeatedly fall victim to their inability to escape boring, meaningless “corporatespeak.” In fact, Forester’s report speaks to the traits required to successfully engage customers:

Successful corporate blogs “talk openly with an authentic voice,” and are “humble and honest,” two traits that run counter to many corporate egos, said Forrester’s report.

Ouch.

For corporations – who often see blogs as yet another pipeline for corporatespeak (or showcases for preening executives), the ugly truth is this: customers and prospects want useful information or thought leadership, and they’re not getting it. (And yes, they need it coherently written.)

Some organizations have shown excellent returns from blogging (like Patagonia’s Cleanest Line), and the benefits of engaging with customers (binding them to the brand via shared passions and values) are significant.

If I were Absolute Ruler, I’d immediately recruit a good writer, slap a new job title on them (like Corporate Content Writer, though if it were me, I’d negotiate for “Content Czar”), and point them at the Internet.

Imagine the ROI of a good writer – working for a tech company — who was engaging with customers, prospects and media via blog, twitter, social networks, flick’r, YouTube, IM, eNewsletter, etc.

You don’t have to imagine it, of course. Look at what Scoble did for Microsoft.

One of the hidden truths of Web 2.0 is this: the need for copywriters who can communicate in a personable, engaging fashion is far greater than the supply.

Sadly, corporate America hasn’t realized it yet.

Keep writing, Tom Chandler.

After all, White edited (and improved) Strunk’s Elements of Style, a book I still pull from the shelf and leaf through when writing seems like hard work.

I fly fish often, and I’m willing to say that fly fishing is a lot like writing; neither responds well to the application of brute force, and while there’s no shortage of advice about doing either, you pretty much have to find your own way in both.

Which is where the Elements of Style looms large.

If I’m struggling to write, it’s usually because I’m trying too hard. Reading the direct, spare text in the book almost always helps, and if it doesn’t, well, it’s time to go fly fishing.

E.B. White also wrote for the New Yorker from 1925 to well into the 1970s, wrote Charlotte’s Web, and just generally filled the role of writer’s writer for decades.

In 1978, he received a Pulitzer Prize for the work he’d produced over the years, and once said “Writing is an act of faith, not a trick of grammar.”

Keep writing, Tom Chandler.