From The Department of Time-Killing Online Diversions comes the OneWord site, which simply gives you one word, an editor, and sixty seconds to write about it.
The results are streamed for all to see:
Not all the results are necessarily pretty (in fact, most are horrifying), but the occasional gem makes it interesting.
It’s yet another online-fueled way to kill an afternoon (similar to the WriteOrDie program, which administers irritating noises when you stop typing).
Still, you can’t watch an episode of Top Chef without wondering if a similar, timed format wouldn’t offer a compelling online competition for writers, who would chop, slice and cook up sentences for general consumption – and a trio of judges.
While the internet has radically altered the face of marketing, us poor writers remain stuck with the same old-fashioned letters, overbearing grammar rules and boring punctuation that have always held us back.
Isn’t it time we threw off the yoke of our linguistic oppressors? Isn’t it time we evolved the language to fit our new digital, lifestreaming reality?
Clearly, the expert linguists at CollegeHumor.com are bold thinkers: they also suggest digital-age punctuation marks like The Double-Reverse Sarcastimark, the quotificent Isolation Marks (which isolate your perfect text from the error-riddled crap you’re quoting), and the Victory-Carries-The-Wind symbol, which allows you win any online argument – no matter how tenuous your position.
Frankly, the writing world has waited a long time for this kind of forward-thinking punctuary revolution.
No longer will our tiny little hobbit writer’s hands be tied by outdated punctuation – marks that barely got the job done when words were still printed on paper.
See you on the bleeding edge of our New Digital Frontier,
Tom Chandler.
This hilarious ad – created for the 2010 Young Director’s Award – seems right for April 1, though given my new status as a daddy, I probably should view this as more a training video than cutting edge creative…
Keep creating (dramatically or otherwise), Tom Chandler.
For those who would kill for a great number comparison quote (we grew revenues $2.2 million – enough to buy a MacBook for everyone in North Pole City, AK), but are too lazy to make one up themselves, we’re pleased to bring you the NumberQuotes.com site:
It’s simple. You enter a number (let’s say you’re writing a presentation for a company that has 146 stores), and it spits back dozens of bizarre number relationships, like:
“146 7 Eleven Hot Dogs would buy 1.61 iPhones”
or
“146: The population of Maiden Rock village, Wisconsin, USA in 2008″
OK. Maybe not the best example. Let’s try a bigger number.
Type in 112.8 million (the estimated number of blogs in existence in February, 2008), and you’ll get:
“112,800,000 dollars would buy a 2010 Cadillac Escalade for everyone living in Minco city, Oklahoma (population 1802)”
or,
”
112,334,376 US Dollars = The 1960 GDP (current dollars) for Fiji”
Frankly, this should revolutionize blogging as we know it – no longer will we be forced to make up statistics to fill blanks in our posts.
Now we can have pointless, irrelevant, real-life statistics generated for us in mere seconds.
While the NumberQuotes.com database seems a little limited, with a little work, it could actually blossom into a perversely useful tool for speakers and those trying to make an (admittedly obscure) point.
Every journalism major remembers the AP Style Manual – a style manual that’s still an excellent guide (I’ve worn out three over the years, but you can avoid wear & tear with their online edition).
Now FakeAPStylebook has created a hilarious sendup of AP’s Style ubiquitous style manual, and metered it out via a truly “LOL” Twitter feed (see, I’m still cutting edge):
I wrote my first copywriting projects on a typewriter (I should be posting this on GeezerCopywriter.com), and while that late 70′s electric hardly qualified as an antique, I’m like most writers – I get a shiver up and down my spine when I see a really old typewriter.
For those stuck on the machines writers formerly used to put words to paper, this site represents the motherload. It’s somebody’s antique typewriter collection, lovingly photographed and put on display for all to see.
In an era when novels are being written on cell phones, big, mechanical, clunky typewriters have undergone a transformation.
From the machines which are recognizably “modern” in design to the oddball constructs, typewriters no longer bear the burden of useful tools; they’ve become little mechanical works of art, and I simply can’t look away.
For those who have never done it, writing on a typewriter demands a level of commitment word processors don’t require.
And while I wouldn’t trade my out-of-control text processor addiction for a typewriter (I can stop anytime I want), I admit writing’s current “fire hose” approach to productivity lacks the elegance of thinking first, and writing second.
Social media’s the hot marketing topic right now (and this despite the reality that search and email remain the ROI leaders, and by a sizable margin).
Still, there’s no underestimating the amount of time most slackers freelancers waste on Facebook and Twitter, so if your New Years resolutions include “I will focus on my business and waste less time on Facebook and Twitter,” then we’ve got just the site for you:
It’s the Web 2.0 Suicide Machine – a brilliant site which will wipe out your Web 2.0 existence while you wait.
Twitter, Facebook, MySpace… all gone in minutes. Then you can join the ranks of luddite curmudgeons worldwide. Frankly, we don’t see a downside.
(Still, if the Web 2.0 Suicide Machine truly is anti-Web 2.0, why aren’t they bucking the “everything is free” trend and charging for it?)
Once again, the Underground scours the Internet for the kind of productivity-enhancing tips you simply won’t find anywhere else.
‘Tis the season for eggnog, sales, and yes – endless year-end “Top 10″ lists.
This one, however, was produced by none other than funnyman Constantine Von Hoffman, so I’m giving his “Top Ten Marketing Blunders of the Year” post a little well-deserved juice.
My favorite? His skewering of General Motors’ weaselly “Apology” ad where the company pretends at a mea culpa while actually accepting zero responsibility.
It turns out that pitting our tiny new daughter against my previously comfortable writing routine results in the following: the wholesale slaughter of the routine.
The new kid is doing great (she is a sweetheart and my cynical marketer’s heart soars every time I see her – unbearably adorable photograph added below)
Despite the madness, I launched a tourism Web site project (with all the trimmings), and the client is happy (they should be)
The Bad News?
I remain barely a half-step ahead of my client commitments.
Which leaves little time for a blog. Or personal writing. Or sleep. Or even a shared (fun) Web site project (aided and abetted by another copywriter).
Naturally – now that the Thanksgiving Madness is over (as is the last-minute Black Friday client rush) – I’m teaching four nights a week for the next three weeks.
Like raising a kid, teaching is hugely exhausting and wildly gratifying at the same time (more on that in an upcoming post).
I expect to have a lot of fun.
What Else is Coming on the Underground?
I’ve got some great stuff ahead.
I’m putting the finishing touches on an update to the profile I wrote of Airgun niche writer Tom Gaylord, who now hosts a TV show and is even signing lucrative product development contracts.
In his typically direct, impassioned style, Tom offers ample food for thought for anyone dominating their niche – but wonders what comes after you own the space.
Then there’s my call for a Modern Word Processor for the Contemporary Online Writer. Today’s writers are using yesterday’s writing tools, and it’s time that changed.
In other words, the Copywriter Underground’s not dead, just moving at whatever pace the world’s best one year-old daughter allows.
Keep writing, Tom Chandler.
Adorable Photograph of Reason You’re Not Reading This Blog Very Often:
