The Copywriter Underground

I admit it. I’m a word processor geek. My keyboard might as well wear a pocket protector.

So when I find a comprehensive review of word processors, I sit up, re-tape my eyeglasses, and start reading.

Fourteen word processor reviews later, it’s clear that Windows/Linux users have more choices than I thought (Mac versions available in some of the packages).

The good news? There are plenty of alternatives to Microsoft Word, especially if you’d rather not subject yourself to Microsoft’s new ribbon interface.

Not surprisingly, the reviewer picks the free/low cost Open Office/Star Office as his #1 choice (so do I). His favorite second-tier choice is TextMaker — a very fast, cleanly designed piece of software.

Frankly, I don’t see how any writer could look away from a word processor review, but deviant behavior takes many forms. Read it, enjoy it, and then we’ll sit around and share stories about why we couldn’t quite stomach Microsoft Office.

Keep writing, Tom Chandler.

[tags]writing, word processor, open office, star office, microsoft word[/tags]

I remember freelancing prior to the advent of email. You needed something? You called your client. You drove to a meeting. Or sent a fax.

Now we’ve got email. It’s fast. It’s easy. It’s better.

But over the last six months, several of my client emails simply disappeared. Gone without a trace.

Spam filters? My ISP? Mail server? Sun spots? As spam (and spam filters) grow more aggressive, I’m looking at alternative contact channels. » Read the rest of this entry «

Face it. Advertising pros and copywriters need an image makeover.

Public “trustworthiness” surveys suggest we rank somewhere below toxic waste, and guess what — the killer in the last Bruce Willis movie was an advertising executive.

Even in Hollywood which is not exactly awash in Ghandi-class human beings, writers are considered only the first drafts of people.

We’re talking Snake Pit City here. Bottom of the barrel.

Simply put, as a group, our image needs the jaws of life help. And we need it fast — before our own parents stop returning our phone calls.

The solution? nothing changes public perception faster than an amateur sex video on the Internet Hollywood blockbuster (witness all the product placement deals).

So without wasting any more time, I give you the Three Movie Ideas Guaranteed to Make Millions — and forever improve the image of copywriters and advertising professionals.

No need to thank me. Not yet.

The Copy Matrix

In this special-effects blockbuster, our handsome copywriter (I’m available, BTW) discovers our world is wholly virtual, and that the “real” world is run by a horde of smart vending machines bent on total domination of several key market segments of the universe.

Our hero (I’m still available) tests multiple copy approaches, eventually hitting on a combination of headline and lead paragraph so powerful, the machines find themselves trapped in a circular sales process, shuffled endlessly from sales letter to landing page to delayed fulfillment to landing page again.

Hooray! Our writer (I’ve got an agent) saves humanity, seriously engages with a babe (Angelina Jolie is available), lives happily ever after, and boosts the image of copywriters everywhere. Cigarette, anyone?

Lord of the Verbs (trilogy)

A small band of copywriters set out on a quest to reclaim the Golden Head — a Google AdWords headline so powerful it causes people to spontaneously hand over their credit card information. Naturally, the bad guys are also pursuing the Head, the evil group comprised of phishers, Craigslist scammers and Nigerian royalty with accounting problems.

Our hearty band’s only weapons are a leather bound volume of active verbs, a dying home page, a 257-pound white paper, a small cache of pointy serif fonts, and a Golden Pencil.

Much bloodshed and adventure ensues. You already know how it ends (see above).

Top Pun

One morning the country awakes to a wave of terrible “punny” ad headlines written by terrorists posing as agency creative teams — and only Top Gun’s Maverick can save us.

In this thrilling sequel to Top Gun — the unbelievably dumb collection of clichés, macho posturing and wildly unbelievable characters that made millions — we see an older, washed-up Maverick take one more stab at personal redemption.

Seizing on the the crisis, he rampages his way onto a US Navy carrier, steals an F-14 and attacks Madison Avenue, driving out the incompetent, headline swiping, grammatically incorrect terrorist hacks hiding there.

Sure, it’s a pretty dumb concept, but it’s no dumber than the formulaic Top Gun or Days of Thunder, and besides, I see opportunities for killer trailer material (after strafing Madison Avenue, Maverick performs a victory roll over the Victoria’s Secret fashion show — sex sells, baby).

Your Turn

Of course, I’m just spitballing along the surface here, but any one of these rather brilliant concepts should score me a percentage of the gross and a big, big trailer on the lot.

Of course, I’m willing to steal any of your ideas and pitch them as my own (I’m a copywriter after all). So what’s your concept? Mystery? Romantic Comedy? Western?

The Underground is yours.

[tags]copywriter, copywriting, advertising[/tags]

Were you expecting a comic strip? This is better.

Scott Adams spells out the lessons he learned in a one-day business writing class. And just so you don’t waste a day learning it, he gives us the short course:

I went from being a bad writer to a good writer after taking a one-day course in “business writing.” I couldn’t believe how simple it was. I’ll tell you the main tricks here so you don’t have to waste a day in class.

Business writing is about clarity and persuasion. The main technique is keeping things simple. Simple writing is persuasive. A good argument in five sentences will sway more people than a brilliant argument in a hundred sentences. Don’t fight it.

I admit it. I kept waiting for the punchline, but the joke was largely on me:

Your first sentence needs to grab the reader. Go back and read my first sentence to this post. I rewrote it a dozen times. It makes you curious. That’s the key.

Write short sentences. Avoid putting multiple thoughts in one sentence. Readers aren’t as smart as you’d think.

Damn. He gets it. I’ll bet he makes $30K a month too. If only I could draw.

Keep writing, Tom Chandler

[tags]dilbert, writing[/tags]

The freelance copywriting market is in a odd state. Fees to copywriters at the low end have never been less tenable, yet demand for copywriters is at an alltime high.

This snippet from the end of Anne Holland’s Chief Marketer article suggests what awaits copywriters who can prove their value, especially in revenue-generating fields (direct response being chief among them):

When it comes to the most valuable potential hire, several cited an old-school choice: a good copywriter. StomperNet’s Fallon hired one at a cost of $30,000 a month but said the ROI was obvious given the $12 million in sales the move helped generate. And Zacks.com’s Lohmeier said hiring a veteran, award-winning copywriter was essential for the company’s recent postcard e-mail/long landing page tests: “Copy is king.”

$30K a month sounds like a pretty good salary — until you move deeper into the sentence, and discover $12 million in revenues were the result.

What are you worth to a client? And what are you doing to make yourself worth more?

Long vs Short Copy

Not interested in money? The same article offers interesting (and contradictory) evidence about the long copy vs short copy debate. Their answer? The ever-present “it depends.” Worth a read.

Keep writing, Tom Chandler.

[tags]writing, copywriter, copy, freelance, freelancing, freelance writer[/tags]

The leading open-source challenger to MS Office (especially Word), OpenOffice Writer is a viable (and free) alternative to writers tired of big-dollar upgrades for little useful functionality.

I’ve got my copy set to automatically save all files in Word format, and I have yet to experience file compatibility problems with my clients (though I haven’t tried to move PowerPoint presentations back and forth).

There’s even an OpenOffice Writer blog: Writer for Writers.

Today they’re featuring an updated add-on named “Writer’s Tools” which includes a document editing time tracker (for those who bill hourly) and a whole bunch of handy goodies.

It’s worth a look — especially since it includes spreadsheet and presentation modules, and comes in Windows, Mac, and Linux versions.

[tags]writing, copywriting, word processor, openoffice, ms word[/tags]

Is the Home Page dead? Are copywriters wasting their time writing them?

That’s the question posed by Matt Ambrose of the Copywriter’s Crucible (to be fair, plenty of others are asking the same thing).

The idea that every page is now potentially a landing page is generating some heavy, Russian-novel-level brooding in the marketing world, and certainly fueled an explosion in landing-page specialty firms.

In Matt’s case, the SEO benefits of his blog are paying dividends — it’s far outpacing his Web site on Google.

That Got My Attention

This topic interests me deeply; my next big self-promo project is better integrating my writing blog, marketing blog, and copywriting site (running on blog software).

It seemed like an easy job when I was only focused on the graphic/brand aspects. Then I started considering how customers might come to my sites, and where they’d go next.

That’s where it gets messy.

Matt’s wondering about simply transferring his site content to his blog site. It’s not a bad idea; blog-centric sites are a viable concept.

But what happens when your brand message and your blog don’t align?

For example, my copywriting site is pretty straightforward. Pretty serious. My blog often isn’t. And frankly, my blog isn’t very customer-focused. My Web site is.

And — guess what?

Like Matt, my blog ranks far higher than my Web site.

Sound the Alarm

In this case, the old saw about the shoemaker’s children going shoeless applies; I’ve been too busy handling work to get my own marketing house in order.

Still, it’s time to clean up the online mess I’ve created. I’ve got a couple ideas, but rather than spill them here, I’m going to document my own marketing integration process as it happens.

I’m on a quasi-vacation the second half of this week (I’m staying at a wine-country home with stunning views, gorgeous gardens and great accommodations — I’d make millions on writer’s retreats if I only I could convince the owner to hold them).

That means I won’t start until next week. Along the way, I plan to ask a few members of the copywriting blogosphere for their thoughts.

My thinking, however, begins now.

My advice to Matt? Consider a stopgap; create some quality “thought leader” content and offer it at the top of your blog sidebar — in exchange for an e-mail address (or a visit to your Web site if you don’t want to get in the e-newsletter business). Then start thinking.

Keep writing, Tom Chandler.

UPDATE: I’m working on a followup post, and just posted a related entry on my Engagement Marketing blog.

[tags]writing, copywriter, marketing, freelancing[/tags]

The GetOutdoors blog (a Top 10 blog in the outdoor niche) is looking for a couple bloggers.

The faint of heart need not apply.

They’re looking for good writers with a little attitude, and they’re even willing to pay for it. I’m too busy making millions off my own outdoor blog to single-handedly turn them into a success too, but maybe you’re not.

There you go — a good lead on a fun gig. At the Copywriter Underground, the giving never stops. Never.

[tags]blog, getoutdoors, job[/tags]

“Google Says Blogging is Dead” one headline screams, while BusinessWeek asserts blogs are being “Twitterized” — that blogging’s apparently too-thoughtful posts are being replaced by shallower, less-thought-intensive bursts of information.

Are blogs dead? Should my clients reconsider my advice to build and populate business blogs — and offer 140 character micro-thoughts instead?

Should I be planning for a new career in telemarketing?

Hype and Blogging

A blog isn’t a holy relic with supernatural powers (as some in the blogosphere might suggest). Nor is it the Ultimate Marketing Tool business has long pined for, but apparently it’s beyond the reach of many in the media to understand that.

A blog is simply a powerful, easy-to-use electronic publishing platform. They’re exceptional tools for businesses, even if only used as one-way conduits for pushing information to customers and prospects.

They’re affordable, they’re responsive, and it doesn’t require an advanced course in nuclear physics to get something posted on the company site. So why are they dying?

They Aren’t, Of Course

The answer, of course, is that blogs aren’t dying in any meaningful sense. New blogs are created every second, but not as many as before. To a hype-addicted media, slowing growth apparently now equals impending death.

And let’s be clear — growth is slowing among personal blogs, and nobody with a half a brain is surprised. Most human beings are not writers, yet approximately 15.5 million of them thought they’d give it a try, thinking writing was an easy, relaxing pastime.

Naturally, they were mostly wrong about that, and it’s hardly surprising that people are trading in their blogs for the bite-sized chunks of twitter and its ankle-deep stream of consciousness.

It’s a perfect fit in a culture that sometimes feels a little disposable, and a quick visit to the twitter site tends to confirm that thinking.

Wither the Business Blog?

I don’t believe Twitter’s going to offer much impact on small and medium-sized businesses. (Somebody will prove me wrong of course. It’s simply a matter of time.)

Lifestyle advertisers like Coca-Cola and Nike might jump on it — turning a largely free service used by teenagers into a multi-million dollar division of the marketing department — but my average client? I don’t see much point.

The “traditional” businesses blog will continue to grow (and yes, you can quote me). For some, they’ll transform the way businesses communicate. For others, they’ll have little impact.

Hype, of course, will continue to fly like crap in the monkey house at the zoo, and it’s likely we’ll soon see other screaming headlines telling us blogging’s a dead horse, that it just laid down and passed on, when anyone with two eyes can tell you it just ran by and is looking stronger with every furlong.

[tags]blogging, blogs, business blogs, twitter, hype[/tags]

In an instance of blogging imitating life, I just read the Irreverent Freelancer’s post about getting to “no.”

Interestingly, I invested a significant chunk of my morning writing a “Dear John” e-mail to a prospective client.

As freelancers, we’re most interested in moving our prospects to “yes.” Getting work is our focus. But when should we focus on getting rid of it?

When Do You Pull the Plug?

I’ve only resigned a handful of clients over the years, though the clients that stick out are the ones I should have resigned, but didn’t.

In the article that spawned Kathy’s post, writer Debbie Bermont lists seven reasons why a freelancer should turn down a prospect.

They’re all good reasons, but unfortunately, you’re never quite sure when the line has been crossed.

It’s a judgment call, and when there are bills to pay and revenue goals to meet, judgment often goes out the window.

I will say this; it’s a bad sign when you need to set professional boundaries with a prospect. When those boundaries are continually crossed, your choice is clear.

And beware the prospect who — without agreeing to send a dime your way — aggressively pursues all sorts of freebies. They might simply be testing you, but over time, a client who always pushes hard for a little more — without paying for it — grows tiresome.

Fortunately, work is plentiful right now, making it easier to look forward rather than back.

Consider the Cost

Dumping a client is a hard decision to make. You have to consider lost revenues, but don’t ignore the opportunity costs. Instead of struggling with a troubling, pain-in-the-ass client, you could pursue your dream prospect (a good idea in any case).

Anyone regret dumping (or not dumping) a client?

[tags]copywriting, freelancing, writing, writer[/tags]